Listen –

I’m not saying that
all the white woman wellness messages
are right or wrong –
that I should start
using designer vaginal gemstones,
guzzle smoothies spiked with ancient herbs
or surround myself with wabi-sabi pottery
to reconnect to the earth-mother
and my inner child.

However-
I did spend seventeen years
mourning Conan O’Brien’s
Successful marriage and the circumstances of
time / wealth / social class / intelligence
that conspired to keep us separated,
only to be at a point today
where my husband is a 6’5″ redhead
with a impish smile
a refreshing lack of cynicism
and a ridiculously dry and surreal sense of humor
which means he thinks I’m hilarious.

So –
Maybe be mindful
of the energy juice you throw out
into the void of the universe
and the next time your friend starts in
with the cedar burning or the salt lamp
whatever it might be,
try not to laugh.
Everyone deserves a shot at their Conan.

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