Shift of Focus

I’m going to be adding my artwork to this blog in addition to my poetry. I’ve been pulling myself out of a depression over the past year, along with finishing up undergrad and starting grad school, so my writing has been slower to come out. The poem I posted today was the first thing in months that I actually felt good enough to publish.

The whole point of this blog for me was to just share my creative efforts, and I figure since I seem to be expanding that into more areas, I’d go ahead and share. All of you that follow are here for the poems, but I wanted to give a heads up in case you don’t want to see artwork.

I post a lot more of my WIP and finalized stuff on my instagram, @almillercreative , so if you are interested in that versus more of a rambling type thing alongside the paintings, feel free to follow over there!

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the additions. I’ll keep posting poems as I go and I’m working on another chapbook currently, but no ETA or firm timelines on that one because I can’t handle that bandwidth.

Thanks everyone for your support, likes, etc – it means a lot to me, and I’m so grateful for your time as I’ve been silent for most of this year.

I almost made it the entire month before I realized

What time of the year it was
The leaves are just now starting to change
From vibrant summer green to
Muted violets and browns
The temperature remains in the seventies and eighties
Climbing into the nineties some days,
Forcing me to wear shorts much longer than I wanted to
Even though the nights dip into the 40’s or 50’s.

I was able to make it all the way through the equinox
Creating new pieces
Writing bits of new poems
Feeling empowered and beyond your reach
While the birds kept serenading my days in the yard
Even though our garden is full of rusted plants
Collapsing on themselves in the need of a seasonal rest.
Pumpkins and haybales decorate my stoop,
Blending it into all the other homes in our subdivision,
Covering up the past with the promise of a modern farmhouse future.

I leaned into Halloween for the fun of it this year
Instead of the relief that it provides in allowing me to disguise
Every single bit of me, obscuring what I was with what I am now.
I almost got away with it, except the wind still smells like dust
And rotten leaves
Like the ones that decorate your grave,
Hiding you in the warm comfort of the earth
Away from the annual celebration of how I finally
Painfully
Fearfully
Broke away from you for the last time.

The good news is, it doesn’t seem like climate change
Is going to end any time soon.
I might make it all the way to November next year.

Things I never thought I’d need to explain to my children

Don't put your feet in your diaper.

Don't eat electrical wires.

You can't push through solid wood; you aren't a x-man.

Paper napkins aren't for eating.

Gummy worms aren't really made from worms.

You can't say the word pussy, even if the President said it.

Nazis are bad.

They hate us because we are Jewish.

A kike is a bad word for Jews; I don't know why that man yelled it at me.

It's just not safe for me to wear my Star necklace around here anymore.