I don’t know why it bothers me
It shouldn’t bother me
That’s what I tell people all the time
But I can’t get it from my mind
The chorus in my head fills in the blanks
Why was it my fault it’s always been that way

I thought I had put you to rest
You should be at rest
My life shouldn’t be dependent on you anymore
But I can’t get my life to follow suit.

Everyone wants to be a friend
Everyone needs to be a critic
Offering advice and slinging arrows
Trying to cross into my lane
The car has been out of my control for years now

There’s no alignment here and
No room for honesty
Because when I try to speak the truth
It only causes all systems to shut down
Throwing on the check engine light

Leaving me stranded
Desperately clutching at the hoses and wires
Of the mess of a motor that remains of my psyche
But I can’t speak about it
Nor question it

And it’s not supposed to bother me
It shouldn’t bother me
That’s what I tell people all the time